Tuesday, March 29, 2011


My hormones went on vacation last week, and apparently they did not think it was necessary to inform me of this, so while they were whoopin it up on different sides of the international dateline I was riding the roller coaster of sadness, anger, loneliness, speckled with a few moments of joy.  I went to a different church hoping the change of scenery would recharge my batteries but all it did was make me homesick for my church. I tried prayer, exercise, reading my bible more, nothing was pulling me from my funk, until that phone call. He can use anybody, even those who are far from Him, He can use what is meant for evil for good.

He knew my faith was hanging on by its fingernails, but it was still hanging on, He knew I was desperately clawing my way back to Him but that slippery slope of backsliding I was on was taking me down fast. It was the bitterness in the voice on the other end of the line that brought me back, for which I am sure satan intended for it to make me let go all together.   I don’t want to carry the burden of anger, bitterness and uncertainty, I did it long enough to know that is does nothing but rot your soul.  I want to live fully surrendered to Jesus, I want to live by faith that He already has it figured out and I don’t have to live by what I see, because that is a heavy load to carry, one that will crush us under its weight.  I want to live by faith that He has it under control and trust that He will work it out for good. He is not done with me yet, I know this because He has blessed me with another day on this earth. It doesn’t matter how far you have fallen, He can always bring you back.

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