take it up with God

I grew up in fear, being afraid was my normal.  I was afraid of making my father angry, so I tried, we all tried, to keep him happy, but my father was a broken man with anger raging inside him. He called me ugly, he told me I was stupid, He told me I was fat, so I tried, as much as a little girl could, to not be those things so my father would not be angry anymore, but as valiantly as I tried I always fell short in his eyes, because he always found something that was wrong with me. 

Home was a uncertain, we never knew when my father would come through the doors swinging or ready to give hugs and kisses, rooms  at times were torn to pieces, bruises were covered under heavy makeup and holes were punched in walls during one of my father’s rages.  At times I would sit in the corner of my bedroom trying hard to be really quiet hoping he would forget I existed.

I grew into adulthood trying to please people the same way I tried to please my father as a child, but I still always epically fell short, because no matter what I did they always found something about me that needed to be fixed.

I am enough because I was created by God, crafted by His own hands, I don’t have to change to be the person someone else wants me to be, I am becoming the person God wants me to be.

Because the last I heard the planet’s population reached 7 billion people.

7 billion people created by God, perfectly crafted by His hands.

7 billion people and He knows each one by name, He know everyone hair on their head, every cell in their body every thought in their head.

He knows every trial and moment of triumph, He knows their past, their present and their future, He knows each of His 7 billion children by name and He loves every one of them because He wove them together uniquely and individually to carry out a purpose, no two people are the same, He intended for it to be that way.

And if that is hard to wrap your head around, He also knows every star by name, every mountain, every grain of sand and blade of grass.

He knows every tree, every leaf, every rock, every lake, stream and pond.

He knows every cub born on plains of Africa, and every minnow born in the depths of the ocean.

He knows His creation and what He created, and He knows it intimately.

He holds the universe in His hands

Because He is God, and we are not

I don’t want to live in fear as I did as a child, I want to be free, and it is in Christ that I am free, because I know the person I am and the person I am becoming in Him is more than enough.

And if there is anyone who doesn't like that, who thinks they can do a better job, can take it up with God.