So when I started writing this blog I had a very clear vision of what direction I wanted it to go in, blogging about navigating this life as a single person under my skewed set of assumptions, it didn’t work out that way, because while I knew plenty about being and staying single, I knew absolutely nothing about being single in a healthy functional relationship. Don’t get me wrong I love my single status, I really do, but enjoying my life only began a few years ago, before that I was working overtime in self-preservation mode and I was exhausted, and I didn’t even know how exhausted I was until I wasn’t anymore.So when I entered this season I asked the why questions so many times, Father why would you allow this to happen, I am single girl, I am my only means of support why would take that away from me?
Ahem….Do you see it?
Little miss independence is learning how to be dependent, dependent on a God that I cannot physically see or touch, a God whose presence I can’t always feel, I am learning to be independent of my own self and what I think I can provide for me. My pride has been beaten down, my weaknesses exposed, and my strength dissolved, I am weak in and of myself, everything I have is from the Father and not by anything I can or ever will be able to do on my own, and let me tell you something, it hurts a bit.My greatest fear, my greatest uncomfortable place is to need and accept help from other people, I can do it myself thank you very much. So what does God do? He rains down His help through other people, one way or another or He is going to break this girl’s fiery independent streak.