Thursday, July 14, 2011

faith, hope and a plan

Why didn’t I come to Him sooner?

That question knocks on the door of my thoughts from time to time.
I would be so much further along.

I have often thought about what my life would be like today had I come to Him 10 years ago instead of 4. 
I had sporadic attempts at it, but nothing really stuck, I had a few storms blow through my life that should have brought me to my knees before Jesus, but they never did, instead I plodded along frustrating myself by trying to fix it on my own.

He knew I would come Him one day
He knew He had a plan

And maybe part of that plan was giving me a healthy dose of the world had to offer, only to realize how short it fell in comparison to Him
He knew the incredibly bad choices I would make, and He let me make them, because ultimately it would bring me to this point

Where all I have left is my faith in Jesus.
There have been two times in my life when I felt God speak to me, I am not talking about when I read His Word, or I feel the tugging on the inside, I am talking about those moments when it felt as if He were reaching inside my chest and grabbing hold of my heart and stopping it for just a few moments because He needed my full attention.

The first was last summer when He asked me if I would follow Him
The second was on a very cold wintery day as I was tucked under a mountain of blankets trying to keep warm.  My heart caught my chest; I lost my breath for a moment.

I have something for you.

That is it, nothing else, and I haven’t heard anything about it since, no further instructions, no hint of what was about come, but I needed to know more.
But nothing since that day.

No instructions for the next step, no hint of what was to come

Our faith is incredibly important to Him, so much that He will take everything away so the only thing we have left to stand on is our faith in Him to show us that is all we need.   
Faith that He will keep His word even when it looks like nothing is happening

Faith that He has a plan even when your life goes completely off the rails
Faith when you thought you hit a homerun only to discover you were out before even making it to first base.

It is hard, incredibly hard to keep the faith when the silence is so loud; I get that, oh my goodness do I get that.
But what He is doing now is preparation for what He has up ahead, preparation for your protection, preparation for what He is going to ask of you, it is for His glory.

We learn what faith really is when the only thing we have left is Jesus, when we are stripped bare of everything and realize how little we have to offer, and the only thing we have left is to hold onto to is our faith that our God bigger than anything this world can muster up.


  1. Hi Kandi - This is a lovely post. I like what you say about how our faith is very important to God. Its like Job says -yet though He slay me I will not turn from Him. We have to hold onto our faith.
    God bless

  2. Love this, Kandi! God just wants us to trust Him. To know Him and to trust Him. He always has a plan and a purpose. To crave Him more than anything else, to desire only Him is what He wants for us and from us. God is bigger! You encourage me every time I read your words. So, so glad God brought you into my life. :)
    Many blessings!

  3. Kandi, your heart seems so pure and innocent. I love the way you write things down. Faith is all we need to know God is there and is working in our life. You have been through a lot and you know what you are waiting for and that is God. Just keep it up. God will finish what He has started with you, He will never forsake you.

    Blessings to you, Kandi.

  4. Amen, Kandi. You answered your own question. When you said this.

    "And maybe part of that plan was giving me a healthy dose of the world had to offer, only to realize how short it fell in comparison to Him
    He knew the incredibly bad choices I would make, and He let me make them, because ultimately it would bring me to this point"

    Great thoughts, Kandi

  5. Hi Kandi; I ran across your blog this morning and I am so glad I did!
    There will be times when temptations and obstacles are a long hard climb, and a long wait clouded by fear and doubt. But genuine faith is strengthened when we wait and believe that God’s promise will be fulfilled.
    You have a very humble and lovely heart! :)

  6. What an honest and sweet post, and how precious that Our Heavenly Father has whispered His great love to you and has shared with you that there is something ahead just for you. What a blessing. What a Savior.

  7. I love reading the honesty and thoughtfulness in your posts Kandi... It's wonderfully refreshing. :-)

    Sometimes it takes an event (or more than one) in our lives that hits us so deeply and takes us to the extents of our pain, for us to finally see past the fog we've been living under and reach out for the hand of Christ. It isn't always obvious at first, but God has a way of taking us where we need to be to begin His pathway forward.

    Great post!

    Have a Blessed Day!