Sunday, December 11, 2011

I don’t want to ever… and an award

Sweet Rewards

The angels stood on alert, looking on intently, quietly, they were warmed up and ready to go and as soon as the Father gave the word they would be earth bound, when a young angel in training with a sweet cherub voice broke the silence.

“We have to do something. Don’t you see where she is headed?” a sense of urgency in his voice for the situation they were witnessing, his feet floating a few inches off the ground ready to take flight before the word was given.
“Not yet” the older and wiser angel replied, stretching one arm across the novice angels chest and the other on his shoulder to bring him back down, “the Father has her well protected, we just have wait our turn.”

The senior angel admired his young charges enthusiasm, he was going to make a good case worker one day but for now he had a lot of learning to do the first being that the humans had to make the choice for themselves and on this day their newest assignment was going to do just that, say yes to God.
I have often mused that God didn’t give me a choice, I was in a pit and no matter hard I tried I couldn't get out I just kept sinking deeper, but I did have a choice the pit or Him, not choices I particularly liked at the time but I did have a choice and I chose Him.

I look at my life sometimes and wonder why God chose this for me, I am not talking about the obvious answer, I know that we are all God’s children chosen by Him and I am certainly not complaining I have been blessed beyond measure, but the deeper question, why ME?  Because it seemed like the neverending storm of Him pursuing me, relentlessly, why? Why me? Why pursue ME the way He did?

I ask that question because before God my life was a series of two steps back but never one step forward trying to get my attention, but I look around this world and there are people who live charmed lives and have absolutely no relationship with God or the one they do have is very limited in perspective, they have no reason to depend on God and they don’t, for their resources are plentiful and the storms are few, so why choose ME? I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, but I still stand in amazement at the lengths He went to get my attention.

I am just a regular person from middle America who works a regular job, drives an 11 year old car, and lives in a 1000 square foot house that was built sometime in the 1940’s. I have been in God’s chop shop on more than a few occasions, my inner workings stripped and rebuilt more than once, He has dried up my finances, fired me from jobs, I have mended a few broken hearts, I went through a season where I attended the funerals of six family members in one year and endured an incredibly lonely stint of isolation.

Before Him I was barely limpin along and a life after Him that is wholly dependent and crazy in love with Him, I wonder why He chose me for the storms I have walked through to lead me to this life that is so insanely blessed. 
I don’t ever want to get to that place where my dependency on God is limited or that I think something will never happen to me based on a false sense of security in my own resources.

I don’t ever want to be in that place where Christianity means one hour on Sunday mornings and a laundry list of prayer requests for myself, but never really having that deep connected relationship with Him.
I don’t ever want to get to comfortable that I forget that I am where I am not by anything I did because I worked hard and made the right choices, I am where I am because of God’s favor, because I certainly don’t deserve the life I have been given.

I don’t want to ever get to that place where the resources are plentiful and the storms are few that I stop seeing the power of God work through impossible circumstances to witness a beautiful ending that makes absolutely no sense in this human world.

And now for the awards, sorry it has taken me a while but here they are:

Tracy at My daily walk in His grace awarded me the Liebster blog award, so now it is my turn to pass it on.

Lisa, at A Moment with God, Lisa is a precious gift from God and her blog encourages me every day, God knew what He was doing when He brought Lisa into my life, I always discover new scripture through her writing that speaks so clearly to me, I am so honored to have a sister in Christ like Lisa.

Eileen at The Scenic Route, I met Eileen through a blog carnival hosted by Rachel Olsen from Proverbs 31 about a year ago, Eileen has been the best friend I never met in real life, her posts always make me laugh with her funny anecdotes.
Kendra aka Pinks at Relying on Him, Kendra found me and she is another gift from God, I started reading her blog when she first started writing and I have been following her ever since, her heart transparent and her words becoming more beautiful each time I read them.

Phil from Inspirations from Phather Phil, oh Phil what I can say about you? Inspiring, uplifting, encouraging.  Phil is the brother I never had, and if I had one I would want him to be Phil, his love for his wife and kids is beautiful, I love reading his e-mails to God every day.

Deane at Who is God, Deane’s teaching is practical and straight forward, I still have so much to learn in my walk with God and I always learn something new I can apply to my life from Deane, the comments she leaves for me are always inspiring and encouraging.

I could only choose five, but I wanted to choose so many more, so I encourage you check out the blogs I love list on my sidebar because I love their blogs as well and I blessed to know each and everyone of them.

The End.


  1. Dear, sweet Kandi. You, my friend, are a gift from God. I LOVE your heart poured out through your words. Your writing is beautiful and inspiring. I feel like I am walking this journey with you. I am blessed to call you my sister! :)

    I echo your words, "I don’t want to ever get to that place where the resources are plentiful and the storms are few that I stop seeing the power of God work through impossible circumstances." I love you, sweet friend!

  2. Kandi ~ Wow! This is a wonderful post. When I read what you write I am always so blessed. You are a inspiration to me. Really, I can relate to much of what you say. Our circumstances may have been different but outcomes the same. Thank you for sharing your heart. And thank you for coming by and commenting on mine. I too write some good blogs in the shower! LOL
    Bless you ~ Chelle

  3. Hi Kandi - I love reading your posts. There is always a laugh in there somewhere. God has a plan and purpose for your life. I sometimes think being a Christian is so complicated but when I'm going through something, I think to myself, "imagine how much harder and painful this would be WITHOUT GOD?" Again great post and God bless

  4. Hi Kandi, :)

    God's timing for all those "impossible circumstances" is such a blessing! He knows the future and we can be assured that He will see us through to the end; whenever we stumble and fall He will be there to pick us up. We may not know how or when He plans to fulfill our needs, but trusting Him requires not knowing when He will do it.

    A lovely post Kandi; Thanks for sharing your authentic heart! :)


  5. Oh Kandi, my dear Sister in Christ, you are truly a sweet soul. I'm honored to be in your list, and Blessed to have connected with you. :-)

    And I'm with Lisa... While we all pray for God to ease our journey, I always want to be challenged and stretched so I never lose sight of His strength underneath it all.

    Have a Blessed Day Kandi!!