words of power, words of destruction

I was hurt by the comments that were made, comments that in and of themselves were to a point, true. Comments based on a limited perspective  and not having all the information, an assumption was made, about me, that wasn’t true, and I was hurt, and if that weren’t enough, the comment was made in an e-mail message that included about ten other people. I was embarrassed and humiliated my mind was reeling, why would someone I thought I had a good relationship with, someone I considered a friend say such hurtful things that weren’t entirely true.

Being the Jesus girl I am I was going to speak her about it, privately of course, the conversation would stay between her and I and no one needed to know, when someone else who had read the e-mail talked to me about it, I expressed my confusion and hurt over it, “let it go” she instructed, “don’t say anything to her about and don’t let it bother you”.

Don’t let it bother me?! I felt I needed to defend myself, yes I made a mistake but it is not what you think, there is more to the story, my side of the story, I needed to set the record straight, and of course I was going to do it all Jesus like and all…

But really I wasn’t going to, my feelings were hurt, and when hurt feelings are involved, when they are still raw and sit heavy on your heart words are spoken that were never intended to be spoken, and that is where I was, I was on the verge of speaking words I wouldn’t say otherwise, because I was hurt and I wanted vindication, I needed to defend the person I know I am against the words that were spoken that said otherwise, even though what I planned to say to this person was going to be spoken in private the words would be out there lingering in the air, words that had the potential to change a relationship that I valued.

Our words hold tremendous power, more power than I think we even realize, their effects lingering long after they have parted our lips, long after we have forgotten that we spoke them, they have a ripple effect  that we will probably never see.  As I found out later the person who said those things about me, was spoken harshly to just hours before, unfair assumptions were made, assumptions that were not entirely accurate by a person who had unkind word spoken to them and through their mounting frustration took it out on my friend who in turn took it out on me, it was a chain reaction that left many in a puddle of confusion licking their wounds wondering what the heck happened! And it all started with harsh words by a nameless faceless person who was probably unaware of the flood gate they had opened and the numerous waterlogged bodies that they would leave in their wake.  

As long as we walk this side of heaven we will deal with and be the imperfect human beings God created us to be, at times we will be frustrated and angry, the grace and mercy we know we are called to extend to each other will battle it out with the unkind words that are begging to pass through our lips, and when they do we will feel better for about a minute, but regret will inevitably follow, and that is where I was, I wanted to respond, I wanted my day in court, at that moment I didn’t care how harsh my words would be I wanted her to know that what she did was not ok.

So I sat in a quiet place, my emotions fighting to control me, asking God to heal my hurt heart, and to remove the black soot of hardness that had wrapped itself around me, and He did, and then He released me to speak to my friend,  “How are you doing today?” I asked her, “You seem upset, can I help?”  Not sure of the reaction I would get, but an apology came and I was happy to have my friend again.

Our words are a mirror that reflects the condition of our hearts, and I can’t claim victory while my initial response was to give my offender a piece of my mind and coming this close to doing it, but it was a lesson learned in the power of our words. They can either build someone up or tear them down, they can be used to curse or bless. 

Proverbs 16:23-24 tells us that a wise man’s heart guides his words, and his lips promote instruction.  Pleasant words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Matthew 15:11 tells us that what goes in a man’s a mouth does not make him unclean, but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him unclean.

Matthew 15:18 tells us that the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart.