Saturday, January 1, 2011

get out of boat and walk on water

Fear, it can paralyze us and stop us dead in our tracks. If we let it, it can turn us into a modern day Israelite, we weren’t exactly wild about where it is we came from but we think it is better than roaming this hot dusty desert with only manna to eat, but that is where many people get stuck, going back is not option but going forward is just too hard and scary. The what if’s invade our mind, what if I fail, what if I can’t do it, what if it isn't God’s will for me, to be honest I don’t think God would ever be disappointed in someone for stepping out and trying but I can't help but think that it is a little grievous to Him as He stands at the ready waiting to bless His children but they think sitting on the couch channeling surfing is a much better option.  Getting out of boat is frightening, it takes us out of our comfort zone and thrusts us into the unknown.  Think about Peter walking on water, it was like the craziest thing ever and it wasn’t Jesus idea, it was Peter’s! So Peter got out of the boat and walked on water and whenever he let himself get distracted with the storm that was whipping around him and he took his eyes off Jesus he began to sink, think about that for a moment, as long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus he could walk on water.

Here is the dealio my friends, we can be so afraid to fail that we live so cautiously that we stay in the boat where it is safe and dry with no risk involved.  We let the gifts that God has given us sit dormant in our hearts, festering and nagging at our insides until the fire starts to burn so hot it's either going consume us or we are going consume it, we are going to make up our minds that this life is not dress rehearsal we only have one shot at it so are we going to live it or let it live us?  This does not mean that we run out ahead of God and make things happen on our own, if we do that one of two things is going to happen, failure or frustration, we are to wait on Him until He gives the word to go ahead, it is time for you to walk on water.

At forty years old I am starting over, not really what I thought I would be doing at this age and it is not something that happened over night, I spent many days living out Psalm 37:7, be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.  I spent many hours many days many months looking around me and seeing nothing happening wondering where God was in all of my mess, why wasn’t He doing anything?  God was doing something He was preparing me for what was to come next.  Seriously, six months ago when I entered this season if God would have swooped in right away and told me, now this is what I want you do, I so wouldn’t have done it and furthermore I had no interest in doing it and He knew that, but slowly over time He started hemming me in if you will, removing all other options until this was the only one left, and I did not go quietly at first.  Trust me He employed a small army to keep planting that seed until it finally dawned on me, I think that is what I am supposed to be doing.

As I get ready to start this new journey fear pierces my heart and doubts plague my mind, I am still not entirely sure if this is where God wants me but I am going to get out of the boat and give it a shot and have faith that if this is where I am supposed to be He will get me through it and if it isn't He will scoot me back on track.  I try to keep my mind on the bigger picture like Jesus did, not looking at how much work I have in front of me or how long it is going take, because it is going to take a really long time, but the better person I will be at the end for having done it than if I didn’t, and what I will be able to accomplish as result of it.   In ten years I will be fifty years old and I ask myself the question, when that time comes am I going to be an Israelite going around the same mountain or am I going to be walking on water?  


  1. I really like your closing sentence on this post. You can do it girl, by the grace of God!

  2. Beautiful post Kandi. I enjoyed the whole thing but when you started sharing your testimony in the last couple paragraphs it was very powerful and so resonated with me. I had a season of starting over and a season where the Lord had to basically hit me over the head to get my attention. Fear kept me in the boat for way too long. But getting out is the most amazing feeling ever and the best decision of my life. Thanks for sharing!